Like the most of us I do like crimes. Otherwise Hollywood wonx92t make so many TV serial about it. But the common sense will know that it is not real. Crime is not about well build policemen or anorexic policewomen arrested ugly criminals. And it is also not about a hot inmate with a tattoo that magically disappears who knows how to escape beautifully. So I rather read or follow the true crimes. I am not reading it for the crime it self but I am questioning my self a lot about x93Why people do what they do?x94
Few months ago I have read a book about cultural complexity, which wrote by Ulf Hannerz. I have learned how to understand human behaviour in a community. What was the reason why they wanted to be apart of the bigger community and the reason to become a rebellion? I also learned why there are so many differences between one and the other community. One of the conclusion that I can make out of it is that community didnx92t work based on x93Goodx94 or x93Badx94 but by x93Majorityx94 or x94Minorityx94. For the most absurd example is that in certain country an adult man is allow to marry an underage girls, which we as European will consider it as paedophilia. Is that okay because they both agree? I donx92t believe that an underage girl does understand about their agreement at all, she just followed the majorityx92s habit. But somehow there are only small amount of people do something about it, as the most people will consider it as culture differences. But it didnx92t take away the fact that they are the same human being as us. So is it a crime? Do we have to make a chance or do we have to let it go to save a culture?
But my story is not about them. My story is about my passion of minority. Those people are easy to forget by the community. As we all are busy making ourselves happy we forgot about amount of people who are not able to do it them self, because they are always be pushed a side as their existence wonx92t bring any profit to majority. I was so ashamed when I realize few months ago that I also forgot about one group of minority that really need our help. The people who suffered from unbearable loneliness in a prison. Are they criminals to me? Yes they are. Do they have to be punished? Yes they do. But do they have to be forgotten and treat as animals? No they donx92t because they are human beings to. They might make some mistakes but who doesnx92t.
There is no any good reason to commit a crime thatx92s why I agree that criminals need to be punished. But what is the real purpose of that punishment? As far as I know the reason are their payment for what they have done and to become a better person for the community once they are out the jail. World will be a wonderful place if those illusion are real. In the real life those people will keep paying their crime the rest of their life cause Majority wonx92t stop judging them as criminals. Isnx92t it enjoyable to put people down when you are strong? When that situation keep going as the Majority keep refusing them to be a part of the community, the inmate will make another crime and go back to jail. Unfortunately the Majority will say, x93Once a criminals, will always be criminalsx94. Donx92t we all want them to become a better person once they are out? Donx92t we all want them to contribute good deed to community? To achieve those wishes we have to treat them as human as well so they will understand more about their mistake and how to behave after they finish their punishment.
As I do believe in democratic philosophy I have to except the fact that Majorityx92s opinion is the one that rules. But it didnx92t take away the fact that Majorityx92s opinion is just a simple forward idea of a powerful person. They spam those words without understanding the real meaning of it. For them is their Opinion more important then their knowledge.

22 years past by without having any meaning. Some were born and some has died and some has killed or even killed him self in between. We all turn old and all the happiness and sorrow seems silently disappear. But what will happen if the gathering recap the time?
in the beginning I was only a young guy or like what they said: x93a teenager with a childish mindx94 who has entered somebody elsex92s life for what I was. But I guess it didnx92t mean I could expect the crowd to understand me. Even though it was the exact words they used as premature adult they couldnx92t avoid my power of being as they saw me as the one who wanted to be the centre of the attention. But I was the child wasnx92t I? If that was true why couldnx92t bunch of adults beat a child? Why were they became the victim of situation? Are they drowning in their own modesty or just lost in their insecurity or am I just too much?
It was really amazing to know what some people things about you. For me it is not a matter of ignoring nor absorbing but a matter of making a reasonable result of the judgment. So I started to make my judgment about my self. I recap my life in the last 22 years and count how many people might hate me and how many will do the other but the result didnx92t supported their argument either.
As we all know history makes a future and today is the future of yesterday. All the present fruits are the seed we have planted in the past. I do have lots of insecurity but one thing I am sure about is that x93todayx94 I am not the one who is bitter nor lonely and am not the one who erase my self for my mistake so I guess it still makes me the centre of all.
Still I do believe they are certain about the way they have seen it and I have to respect that, but do I have to defending myself to convince them differently? I donx92t think so because  I know we will always be the little enemy in a wrong crowd.

Michelle has made an unfortunate decision that has cost her freedom. But for me it didnx92t cut her prominent position in society she has held. She wrote on her ad about the unlimited power of human brains which has triggered me to write her a letter. I have received her first answer last week. She reminded me In her letter how similar we are except that I missed in my self the guts she had to conquered her will. Even though life is not as simple as we wanted it to be she showed me the way to fix a lost road. It doesnx92t matter where you are, you can always produced the unlimited possibility inside of you. And she also wrote me about the amazing strength of accepting. Can I ever be as strong as she is? Is my fear of fear stronger then my anxious of surviving?

x93Why donx92t you kill the beastx94, x93Why donx92t you lock them up the rest of their lifex94, Isnx92t it easy to judge an inmate. They are just a criminals arenx92t they? They donx92t deserve the life we have do they? We are the better person because we are not in x93PRISONx94 arenx92t we? But donx92t we forget that we are punishing someone who is innocent to us, someone who has done nothing wrong to us? For me they are just another human being who has made a mistake which some canx92t be forgiven. They are already punished so we donx92t need to play God. And I do believe that people need to see the differences between them and sick people like x93Pedophilex94 who need to be treat in psychiatric hospital the rest of their life. I am glad I live in a country that believe in giving chances. Even though It sometimes didnx92t work as it suppose too it is always better then ruining another human being.

Every morning at 6.25 I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face and took a quick shower. Somewhere else in the world there were ninety years old twins who celebrated their birthday while a little boy of eight in the other side of the world tried to commit suicide. Everybody just did their own daily routine to make them self happy.

As for some people smiling and laughing are the reason to live for other it is just a hurtful feeling. Even though there are so many thoughts to reach happiness there are no blind eyes could see colours. Does love do all the tricks? Is love enough to survive all?

I used to live in a life that was not truly mine. I didnx92t realize how it went but I was dragged into it. All I did just lead somebody elsex92s. I always thought that life was just a long time sorrow and happiness was a gift from somebody else as my gift to others. So I have waited till someone gave it to me and never knew that I can create my own.

After have lived for few years with Mr Desley, I felt something odd happened to me. His simple life has erased my sorrow away. Without telling me he showed me the right way to go. I realized then that I have always walked the wrong direction all my life. The grass can be green and the snow can be warm. And some people who used to be my hero were just a horror creatures who used my life in state of loving it. For them it was just a simple joke but the truth is, it was a mind beyond cruelty. So I have learned to leave it behind me and try to live without. I know that I couldnx92t finish the process in one day but I am on my way there.

Do we all have to work hard to be happy? Do we need someone to be happy?

One thing I know, there are so many peoples who are eager to make me sad. They couldnx92t sleep at night just to bring me their daily bad news. So I am asking them now to leave me alone as I do them.

I rather not knowing then hating.

I haven’t written anything here for almost a year. I guess I have been blue for that long. But writing will always be one of my greatest love. So I continue.
For more of my stories pls visit my website. It is not finish but I am working on it

http:\\christo.gunawan.nl

DADDY
(So far away)
My name is Christo. I was born in far east. Where all the spirits fly through its mystical journey. The sanctuary of loving soul.
And this is my story:
It was six ox92clock in the evening. I was still playing with my brother on our back yard. We were walking through the highest grass, following the sound of cricket. My Daddy was with us. I didnx92t saw him often. He came back home two times a month and only for few hours sometimes he stayed for the whole day.
x93Look daddy, I have found onex94 I said proudly and …

On the day I was born I heard angels whispered in my ears. They blessed my life with a drop of sunshine and the breath of lemon tree. I still remember what they said: x93We made your life for you and not for others, so they can be proud ofx94

PS: If you do speak very well English you can help me build my blog. To crap my english doesnt do any body good.

I was totally shock when I have found out that the most citizen of the Netherlands didnx92t knew who Sarah Bernhardt was. She was one of the greatest actress ever and she was the greatest in her time. She even had a Dutch mother. So Dutch people supposed to know her and be proud of this enchanting national products.

When I asked people about her, the most of them confused her with another famous Dutch girl named MATAHARI. Who doesnx92t remember a x93Pin UPx94 right? I hope that Dutch people do remember her.

But there are so many more famous Dutch women. Each of them had their name written on the worlds history book. They contribute to the world became a legend and they knew how to keep the Dutch culture highly appreciated.

I sometime asked my self why some women these days still think that they are weak and hopeless. Donx92t they want to be as amazing as those women? Or it was just a matter of talents that has been given to a few?

Why donx92t you be the next x93Amazing Dutch Womanx94

Sarah Bernhardt (Rosine Bernard) (1844-1923)

French actress, was born in Paris on the 22nd of October 1844, of mixed French and Dutch (Judith van Hard) parentage, and of Jewish descent. She was, however, baptized at the age of twelve and brought up in a convent. At thirteen she entered the Conservatoire, where she gained the second prize for tragedy in 1861 and for comedy in 1862. Her dxe9but was made at the Comxe9die Franxe7aise on the 11th of August 1862, in a minor part in Racine’s Iphigxe9nie en Aulide, without any marked success, nor did she do much better in burlesque at the Porte St-Martin and Gymnase. In 1867 she became a member of the company at the Odxe9on, where she made her first definite successes as Cordelia in a French translation of King Lear, as the queen in Victor Hugo’s Ruy Blas, and, above all, as Zanetto in Franxe7ois Coppxe9e’s Le Passant (1869). When peace was restored after the Franco-German war she left the Odxe9on for the Comxe9die Franxe7aise, thereby incurring a considerable monetary forfeit. From that time she steadily increased her reputation, two of the most definite steps in her progress being her performances of Phxe8dre in Racine’s play (1874) and of Dona Sol in Victor Hugo’s Hernani (1877). In 1879 she had a famous season at the Gaiety in London. By this time her position as the greatest actress of her day was securely established. Her amazing power of emotional acting, the extraordinary realism and pathos of her death-scenes, the magnetism of her personality, and the beauty of her “voix d’or,” made the public tolerant of her occasional caprices.

Continue: Sarah Bernhardt

Mata Hari (Gertrud Margarete Zelle )(1876-1917)

Was the stage name of the Dutch exotic dancer and prostitute Gertrud Margarete Zelle, who was shot by the French as a spy on 15 October 1917.

Born on 7 August 1876 in Leeuwarden in the Netherlands, Mata Hari’s name has since become synonymous with espionage, although it remains by no means clear that she was guilty of the spying charges for which she charged.

The daughter of a well-to-do hatter, Mata Hari attended a teachers’ college in Leiden before, in 1895, marrying Captain Campbell MacLeod (of Scottish antecedents but serving in the Dutch army). They lived together from 1897-1902 in Java and Sumatra.

Returning to Europe together they thereafter separated, at which point Mata Hari took to dancing upon the Paris stage from 1905, initially as ‘Lady MacLeod’ and soon after as ‘Mata Hari’, the name she retained until her execution.

Highly successful in Paris (among other cities), Mata Hari’s attractiveness, as well as her apparent willingness to appear almost nude on the stage, made her a huge hit. She cultivated numerous lovers, including many military officers.

Continue: Mata Hari

Some other amazing Dutch women

Did you remember Bob Ross? Of course you do. He made people believe that everybody can paint. This genius creature could create a landscape painting in just 30 minutes. Even though all of his works that have been shown looked like a cheap Christmas card, he knew how to stimulate people to paint. To judge the result of his work was just the matter of taste. The most important thing of his lesson was x93How to do itx94.

He built up his painting by putting one element after the other. But none of those elements had a real shape. You just had to play with colour and contrast to make the illusion.

Of course you have the freedom to do the same. But if you want to make or do something different I maybe can help you to get on your way. Because I also believe that everybody can paint.

5 steps to make a painting.

1. Make a sketch:

Think first about the theme. Think about all the elements you need. Make the wrights composition.

2. Study the elements

If you want to make your painting recognizable, it is necessary to put the elements with the wrights shape. It doesnx92t have to be realistic as long as it can be recognize. But you have also the freedom to put the elements in abstractly design.

3. Pick the colour

There is no rule to pick the colour. My advice to you is not to put the only colour you like but it also has to match your painting.

4. Make the under ground layer

This is the most important part. If you make the wrights under ground layer, your painting will almost never go wrong.

5. Start painting.

This is the fun part. Finally you are on your way to finish your creation.

If you think the 5 steps are to boring or to complicated you can always go back to Bob Ross. Have fun with it and by the next time I will help you doing this, step by step.

After two years of celibate I have started a new project. It was just a simple project without any philosophical thought attached. I just wanted to make a calendar and the four seasons. The elements on this calendar had to be mix between human, nature and words. The shape had to be mix between abstract and realist. And for the rest I just have followed the 5 steps.