Living Between Dreams

Applying Poverties

livingbetweendreams — Sun, 20 May 2012 12:03:24 +0000

Even though there are few brands existed that came up with nail polish for men like Manglaze and BB Couture, In 2012 “Non Celebrity” men wearing nail polish are still alienated by the common minded people. I was shocked by the amount of people who were staring at me and asking me questions after seeing me wearing nail polish for the first time. Haven’t we seen it before? Even Alpha males like Cristiano Ronaldo, Johnny Depp and Seal were wearing nail polish and if you dig further in the history you’ll find out that nail polish was invented for men, the Chinese Emperors and Egyptian pharaohs were the first to cover their nails with polish, so what was so special about me to make them stare? The reason was not my nails being polish but absorbing the world habit and being a part of majority’s opinion as follower so to speak. It was very painful to understand but unfortunately that’s the way how common minds work. But this article is not about common minded people being stupid but about me being stupid.

After having attacked by bacteria during my visit to the hospital, my nails started to break and I lost the most of it. Because what I still have left were fragile which gladly they were on my fingers, I have been using top coat for years to stop it from breaking. Few weeks ago after having seen Dean McDermott wore nail polish on his toes (Don’t get me wrong, I am not his fan only of his toes) which was looking pretty I wanted to try it on me, although I did realize that It won’t be as pretty as his cause unlike him I didn’t have enough Dollars to pay someone to help me with it.

However to chose the right colour wasn’t easy at all so I decided to find the colour that match my tattoo. When I was at the Perfumery I tried all brands that issued these shade. Finally I found the product that matched the best and it was “Blue Rebel” which was produced by Chanel. So I purchased and wore it directly afterward. Proudly I showed it to my colleagues by the next first occasion. Different than the most remarks about me being a Sissy, Mr D asked me about the brands and once he knew it was Chanel he wondered why I found it better than the cheaper one. To be honest I really didn’t know how to answer him cause I bought it for the shade and not the brand. I didn’t even know how much I have paid for this shit till I received my credit card bill and its shown a big, fat “€ 19.50” next to the word “Nail Polish”. OMG what was I thinking and probably I was not thinking at all.

Ashamed to admit that the quality of Chanel ( € 15.00/cl) was only OK to me I excused myself for not having any other products to compare. So how about to start comparing it with the cheaper ones? Would they be worse, as good as or even better? With Mr D’s question in my mind I went to the store and purchased few more nail polishes with an almost similar shade but cheap, cheaper and cheapest just to apply some poverties on my nails and see whether I would like it. The products that I have bought were : Rimmel London 60 seconds ( € 4.95/8ml – € 6.19/cl) in “Aye, Aye, Sailor”, Essence ( € 1.29/7ml – € 1.84/cl ) in “Underwater V2” and Catrice (€ 2.95/10ml/cl ) in (very offended) “Hip Queens wear Blue Jeans”.

It was a lie that Rimmel which was half as cheap as Chanel dried in 60 seconds or less. Maybe it would work in Middle East but not in West Europe. Even though it could covered well within just one coat like Chanel It contained solid chemical substance that made my nails as thick as a small burned Chinese sweetbread but I couldn’t applied it less if I wanted to have my nails covered with only one layer of coat, so it didn’t matter which way you choose, it would bring you to the same result while Chanel would stay thin after the second coat.

Essence is so easy to apply because it was so thin that almost invisible. After polishing the 3rd coat I was still annoyed by the dirt behind my nails which I supposed to remove in front. It was absolutely cheaper to purchase but Essence won’t be the most efficient product to use as it will cost me more times to apply and unlike Rimmel and Chanel it only stayed intact for two days while the other brands for more than 4 days. So would it be cheaper mathematically?

The most surprisingly product was Catrice, Even though the substance of the colour was not as good as Rimmel or Chanel it did covered in one coat as well. Unfortunately just like Essence this product would only stay for two days before it started discomposing on your nails. By that calculation I doubted whether Mr D’s remark “Price won’t always granted the quality” could be absolutely true. But since for me Chanel still came out as the best so far I might need more products to compare till I get the best comparison Quality/Price without passing Manglaze and BB Couture the “real nail polish brands for men” or “nail polish brands for real men”

Applying Poverties is a post from Living Between Dreams.

Zero Antibodies

livingbetweendreams — Sun, 13 May 2012 17:11:37 +0000

After talking to a friend about having tattoo I couldn’t wait to get another one. However I was not sure about what and where I wanted it. As you might know, tattoo will stay forever and in caused of that I have to be wise to chose it. I wanted it to be unique and very close to me. So I was thinking about my blood type which is the rarest type and according to some scientists it has been existing only for the last 2000 years furthermore some religious believe that Jesus was the first who had that blood type and it had made me his descendant. I wondered why I felt so holly lately and now I know the answer. Bless you my child !!! It is always fun to hear some craps that give you profit.

Consequently I surfed on the internet to find some more information about my blood type which is AB- and also some examples of “blood type tattoos”. The reason why I did my research was because I didn’t want to have the word “AB-“ tattooed on me. It sounded so general and I wanted it to sounded like me, the way I talk and the way I think so It has to be my signature like my first tattoo which I believed had scared some people. But like what old saying said : “A dog that barks won’t bite” but in my case it would. Anyway, instead of finding some cool tattoos I found an article about the fact that all Nazi’s soldiers had have their blood type tattooed on their arm pit. This article did make me doubt about having my blood type tattooed on me. While there was a “register addicted” person who claimed that it was not such a bad idea of Hitler after all and told me that Hitler wasn’t such a bad person at all “Because of him we have the highway we have today”, he said. Have I read it well that he was comparing between highway and 8 million Jews? I couldn’t believe I was talking to a human. He must be a Devil that owns a Facebook profile. It is a good thing to be proud of yourself but in some cases you better hide. On picture bellow you’ll see what they did to those soldiers. His tattoo was not the reason I have chosen this picture but please take a good look at his juicy lips. The lips that could seduce me to cross over.

In spite of all Nazi’s craps above I kept on digging more information about my blood type and found out that it did not contain any antibodies while it did contain both A and B antigens. So it suggested me to be a potential plasma donor that would make me even more popular. In addition to those information I have decided that the sentence “Zero Antibodies” will be my new tattoo.

But how to place it? I did agree with a friend who believed that tattoo need to be synchronized with the shape of your body part. So it has to be placed on a spot that compliments the tattoo as well as your body part. When I saw the body of my favourite porn actor Logan McCree (Come on people, don’t judge me because I do have the right to have a favourite porn actor) I wanted to have tattoo all over my body just like him. But unfortunately I couldn’t as my belly is now big enough to carry the Google Earth and my nipples are cross-eyed. Burned with jealousy I told him in my mind to wait and see whether he will still have kept this body by the time he’s 45 but meanwhile I only have my arms and legs left that still look like human’s body part and that is the fucking present factional condition

Zero Antibodies is a post from Living Between Dreams.

Opinion is stronger then Knowledge

livingbetweendreams — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:34:29 +0000

Like the most of us I do like crimes. Otherwise Hollywood wonx92t make so many TV serial about it. But the common sense will know that it is not real. Crime is not about well build policemen or anorexic policewomen arrested ugly criminals. And it is also not about a hot inmate with a tattoo that magically disappears who knows how to escape beautifully. So I rather read or follow the true crimes. I am not reading it for the crime it self but I am questioning my self a lot about x93Why people do what they do?x94
Few months ago I have read a book about cultural complexity, which wrote by Ulf Hannerz. I have learned how to understand human behaviour in a community. What was the reason why they wanted to be apart of the bigger community and the reason to become a rebellion? I also learned why there are so many differences between one and the other community. One of the conclusion that I can make out of it is that community didnx92t work based on x93Goodx94 or x93Badx94 but by x93Majorityx94 or x94Minorityx94. For the most absurd example is that in certain country an adult man is allow to marry an underage girls, which we as European will consider it as paedophilia. Is that okay because they both agree? I donx92t believe that an underage girl does understand about their agreement at all, she just followed the majorityx92s habit. But somehow there are only small amount of people do something about it, as the most people will consider it as culture differences. But it didnx92t take away the fact that they are the same human being as us. So is it a crime? Do we have to make a chance or do we have to let it go to save a culture?
But my story is not about them. My story is about my passion of minority. Those people are easy to forget by the community. As we all are busy making ourselves happy we forgot about amount of people who are not able to do it them self, because they are always be pushed a side as their existence wonx92t bring any profit to majority. I was so ashamed when I realize few months ago that I also forgot about one group of minority that really need our help. The people who suffered from unbearable loneliness in a prison. Are they criminals to me? Yes they are. Do they have to be punished? Yes they do. But do they have to be forgotten and treat as animals? No they donx92t because they are human beings to. They might make some mistakes but who doesnx92t.
There is no any good reason to commit a crime thatx92s why I agree that criminals need to be punished. But what is the real purpose of that punishment? As far as I know the reason are their payment for what they have done and to become a better person for the community once they are out the jail. World will be a wonderful place if those illusion are real. In the real life those people will keep paying their crime the rest of their life cause Majority wonx92t stop judging them as criminals. Isnx92t it enjoyable to put people down when you are strong? When that situation keep going as the Majority keep refusing them to be a part of the community, the inmate will make another crime and go back to jail. Unfortunately the Majority will say, x93Once a criminals, will always be criminalsx94. Donx92t we all want them to become a better person once they are out? Donx92t we all want them to contribute good deed to community? To achieve those wishes we have to treat them as human as well so they will understand more about their mistake and how to behave after they finish their punishment.
As I do believe in democratic philosophy I have to except the fact that Majorityx92s opinion is the one that rules. But it didnx92t take away the fact that Majorityx92s opinion is just a simple forward idea of a powerful person. They spam those words without understanding the real meaning of it. For them is their Opinion more important then their knowledge.

Opinion is stronger then Knowledge is a post from Living Between Dreams.

Little Enemy

livingbetweendreams — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 13:30:32 +0000

22 years past by without having any meaning. Some were born and some has died and some has killed or even killed him self in between. We all turn old and all the happiness and sorrow seems silently disappear. But what will happen if the gathering recap the time?
in the beginning I was only a young guy or like what they said: x93a teenager with a childish mindx94 who has entered somebody elsex92s life for what I was. But I guess it didnx92t mean I could expect the crowd to understand me. Even though it was the exact words they used as premature adult they couldnx92t avoid my power of being as they saw me as the one who wanted to be the centre of the attention. But I was the child wasnx92t I? If that was true why couldnx92t bunch of adults beat a child? Why were they became the victim of situation? Are they drowning in their own modesty or just lost in their insecurity or am I just too much?
It was really amazing to know what some people things about you. For me it is not a matter of ignoring nor absorbing but a matter of making a reasonable result of the judgment. So I started to make my judgment about my self. I recap my life in the last 22 years and count how many people might hate me and how many will do the other but the result didnx92t supported their argument either.
As we all know history makes a future and today is the future of yesterday. All the present fruits are the seed we have planted in the past. I do have lots of insecurity but one thing I am sure about is that x93todayx94 I am not the one who is bitter nor lonely and am not the one who erase my self for my mistake so I guess it still makes me the centre of all.
Still I do believe they are certain about the way they have seen it and I have to respect that, but do I have to defending myself to convince them differently? I donx92t think so because I know we will always be the little enemy in a wrong crowd.

Little Enemy is a post from Living Between Dreams.

First letter from Michelle

livingbetweendreams — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 13:18:09 +0000

Michelle has made an unfortunate decision that has cost her freedom. But for me it didnx92t cut her prominent position in society she has held. She wrote on her ad about the unlimited power of human brains which has triggered me to write her a letter. I have received her first answer last week. She reminded me In her letter how similar we are except that I missed in my self the guts she had to conquered her will. Even though life is not as simple as we wanted it to be she showed me the way to fix a lost road. It doesnx92t matter where you are, you can always produced the unlimited possibility inside of you. And she also wrote me about the amazing strength of accepting. Can I ever be as strong as she is? Is my fear of fear stronger then my anxious of surviving?

First letter from Michelle is a post from Living Between Dreams.

A human being called inmate

livingbetweendreams — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:15:40 +0000

x93Why donx92t you kill the beastx94, x93Why donx92t you lock them up the rest of their lifex94, Isnx92t it easy to judge an inmate. They are just a criminals arenx92t they? They donx92t deserve the life we have do they? We are the better person because we are not in x93PRISONx94 arenx92t we? But donx92t we forget that we are punishing someone who is innocent to us, someone who has done nothing wrong to us? For me they are just another human being who has made a mistake which some canx92t be forgiven. They are already punished so we donx92t need to play God. And I do believe that people need to see the differences between them and sick people like x93Pedophilex94 who need to be treat in psychiatric hospital the rest of their life. I am glad I live in a country that believe in giving chances. Even though It sometimes didnx92t work as it suppose too it is always better then ruining another human being.

A human being called inmate is a post from Living Between Dreams.

Addicted

livingbetweendreams — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 10:04:05 +0000

I was barely 13 when the first time I have used it.
I knew nobody who were addicted to it but somehow I wanted to try. I thought it wont do me any harm if I just tried once.
I still remember that day. After school I didnx92t go straight home but went to city centre. On the third alley behind the cinema I would find the dealer who sold the right stuff. I did my research well. Now it sounds pathetic but then I have been saving all my allowance to buy it.
Once Ix92ve got my stuff I didnx92t use it right away. I hide it behind my coat and brought it home.
At home my mom asked me where I have been. I came home late. I told her I watched some movie with friends and went straight to my bed room. I hide my stuff under the bed so nobody would find it. I was waiting for the right moment.
By the next weekend I hang out with friends. There was a doubt in my mind if I should use it. I didnx92t know which effect it would give me for the first time. And I decided to use it anyway. My feet started to shake and I felt the fever coming up to my head, small sweat bubbles started to appear on my forehead. Oh my God, What have I done. I sat on my bed and tried to pull my self together. I didnx92t want people to see me like that.
After a while when all the odd feeling went off I entered the living room. All my family and friends were there. They looked so happy and nice, they even gave me a lots of compliment. Was that real or it was just my imagination? But anyhow it felt good. I didnx92t want to loose that feeling. Even though deep inside I felt ashamed for what Ix92ve done I started to buy and used it regularly and secretly.
When I have just left my teenager life behind me I realized that I was addicted to it. But I somehow didnx92t dare to share my secret to anyone. Even not to my boyfriend who was living with me.
Our relationship didnx92t survive, after 14 years he broke up with me and it made me even more addicted. 6 years later, except for my addiction I have putted my life together all right. I met a new person who I was happy with and who I thought will understand about my problems. But I havenx92t told him about it yet. I wanted to do it slowly.
Early this year we have invited our friend Chloxeb who worked on the city hospital to have diner with us. It was a nice evening and we have talked a lot. My boyfriend who liked to sleep went off to bed early and left us behind.
Once he left the room Chloxe9 asked me quietly x93Are you addicted?x94
Like a thunder in my head I was totally shock by her question x93How can you tell?x94
x93I can see it in your eyesx94 She stood up and took of my cloth to find the marks on my body.
When she saw all the marks on my shoulder she started to scream x93Oh my God, you are a hand bag junky. What have you done to your selfx94 I started to cry x93I donx92t know what to do, I am just addicted to it. I tried to quit so many time but the need kept coming back to me and each time it became stronger and strongerx94
x93What did you use?x94
x93I started with a plastic one but later I used only leather, fully leather some has pattern and some donx92tx94
x93Have you use brand?x94
x93Yes I didx94 I answered her with full of shame x94Burberryx94
x93Did you know what Burberry do to you? Once you use it you canx92t quitx94
x93I know, would you please help me?x94
Chloxeb brought me to the hospital and demand me to rehab. I went through a hard time. It was just like hell. My body started to de-handbag-ed and I was hallucinating. All the evil new collection haunted me at night and seduced me to buy them.
I was clean for two month before they have released me from the hospital. At home the whole family were there. They were waiting for me to welcome me home.
x93Look we have present for you, why donx92t you open itx94
Slowly I rip off the package and opened my eyes widely. I thought I just got a heart attack.
It was a brand new honey coloured summer edition Burberry messenger bag with extra pockets for your cell phone and your wallet.
Oh noooooooooooooo

(this blog is based on almost true story)

Addicted is a post from Living Between Dreams.

Leave me alone

livingbetweendreams — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 11:17:04 +0000

Every morning at 6.25 I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face and took a quick shower. Somewhere else in the world there were ninety years old twins who celebrated their birthday while a little boy of eight in the other side of the world tried to commit suicide. Everybody just did their own daily routine to make them self happy.

As for some people smiling and laughing are the reason to live for other it is just a hurtful feeling. Even though there are so many thoughts to reach happiness there are no blind eyes could see colours. Does love do all the tricks? Is love enough to survive all?

I used to live in a life that was not truly mine. I didnx92t realize how it went but I was dragged into it. All I did just lead somebody elsex92s. I always thought that life was just a long time sorrow and happiness was a gift from somebody else as my gift to others. So I have waited till someone gave it to me and never knew that I can create my own.

After have lived for few years with Mr Desley, I felt something odd happened to me. His simple life has erased my sorrow away. Without telling me he showed me the right way to go. I realized then that I have always walked the wrong direction all my life. The grass can be green and the snow can be warm. And some people who used to be my hero were just a horror creatures who used my life in state of loving it. For them it was just a simple joke but the truth is, it was a mind beyond cruelty. So I have learned to leave it behind me and try to live without. I know that I couldnx92t finish the process in one day but I am on my way there.

Do we all have to work hard to be happy? Do we need someone to be happy?

One thing I know, there are so many peoples who are eager to make me sad. They couldnx92t sleep at night just to bring me their daily bad news. So I am asking them now to leave me alone as I do them.

I rather not knowing then hating.

Leave me alone is a post from Living Between Dreams.

scarlet’s end

livingbetweendreams — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 21:23:45 +0000

I haven’t written anything here for almost a year. I guess I have been blue for that long. But writing will always be one of my greatest love. So I continue.
For more of my stories pls visit my website. It is not finish but I am working on it

http:\\christo.gunawan.nl

DADDY
(So far away)
My name is Christo. I was born in far east. Where all the spirits fly through its mystical journey. The sanctuary of loving soul.
And this is my story:
It was six ox92clock in the evening. I was still playing with my brother on our back yard. We were walking through the highest grass, following the sound of cricket. My Daddy was with us. I didnx92t saw him often. He came back home two times a month and only for few hours sometimes he stayed for the whole day.
x93Look daddy, I have found onex94 I said proudly and …

scarlet’s end is a post from Living Between Dreams.

geselecteerd als gefixeerd bericht

livingbetweendreams — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 03:15:26 +0000

On the day I was born I heard angels whispered in my ears. They blessed my life with a drop of sunshine and the breath of lemon tree. I still remember what they said: x93We made your life for you and not for others, so they can be proud ofx94

PS: If you do speak very well English you can help me build my blog. To crap my english doesnt do any body good.

geselecteerd als gefixeerd bericht is a post from Living Between Dreams.